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"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine
you did for me." Jesus, (Matthew 25:40) Although it may at times seem otherwise, the
term "troubled youth" is not redundant. This is a young person who has problems
which are more intense that those of a normal adolescent and these problems prevent him or
her from developing necessary life skills. According to the situation troubled youths
might manifest themselves in a variety of ways. There is no one mold into which troubled
youth necessarily fit. They are as diverse as the rest of society and yet it almost an
understatement to say that they are hurting and in need of Christian compassion. Often
these youth are troublesome and so are identified by their negative behaviors. Look for
significant changes over the past six months or so within family relationships, peer
selection, a drop in school grades and how they are spending their free time. Of course
involvement with the police or the juvenile justice system is indicative of a problem.
However, by the time there is any direct police involvement there likely has already been
criminal behavior patterns established. By the time the courts act to place youth on
probation there has normally been numerous offenses that have occurred and for each time
that they have been caught there have almost surely been many more times they went
unapprehended. Therefore, acting at the point of court involvement cannot have near impact
as noticing early signals and acting upon these. With even a casual look around you it
becomes evident that this is a very needy populations and someone needs to work with these
individuals. But, please examine your own motives of why you desire to work with these
young persons. Perhaps by honestly answering the following questions you can better
understand if you should pursue working with troubled youth:
- Am I willing to commit myself to more that a short-term relationship with this young
person?
- Do I have a genuine interest in this youth as a person, not just his or her problem(s)?
- Am I willing to suffer personal setbacks and discouragement?
- Am I willing to become involved in the total life of this person, not just Sunday
mornings and Wednesday nights?
- Am I willing to work cooperatively with others who also have an interest in this young
person such s teachers, probation officers and community organizations?
- Am I prepared for defeat?
- Do I recognize my limitations?
- Will I make every effort to understand his or her point of view without becoming
judgmental?
- Am I willing to be inconvenienced?
- Can I keep my own/family issues separate from those of the youth?
- Am I willing and able to receive special training if needed?
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How to help:
Pursue a non-judgmental relationship. The most judgmental yet important step to take.
With almost all troubled youth you must earn the right to be heard. Respect does not come
automatically, and to a great extent it will only come after you have granted respect to
them. To judge someone you must assume that you are better than them. So, even thought you
may not approve of their behaviors always attempt to separate the value of the individual
and respond to him or her as a fellow struggling human (redeemed or unredeemed).
Don't rescue them from consequences of their behavior. This may be the most difficult.
"Bailing them out" may seem like the compassionate thing to do but it allows
them to escape the very thing that their actions have brought them to and perhaps the very
thing that will motivate a change in their behavior. Spending a night in jail, paying for
damages, being suspended from school, and similar consequences are designed to help them
focus on how their actions effect themselves and others.
Knowing why they are troubled will often yield clues on how to help. From birth to
around the age of seven is a time for imprinting and emotional nurturing. (e.g. when they
fell and hurt themselves was there someone to pick them up and let them know things were
going to be okay?) If this was not received, then the individual will lack emotional
security. The ages of 8 to around 14 is a time when modeling appropriate behavior needs to
take place. I there a deficit there? The remainder of adolescents is spent achieving a
healthy socialization and independence. However, when there are inadequacies in the first
two stages adolescents often becomes a hard fought battle.
Teach social skills and provide opportunities for them to succeed using them. These
young people are often deficient in socially acceptable skills. They normally have had
very little success in social situations (including church) and need to learn how step by
step at times to respond and behave in a variety of situations
Remind them that every action has a consequence. There is literally nothing that we do
that does not have an impact on us and innumerable other lives.
Teach them to live Biblically. Concentrate on teaching them the rationales for doing
the things that the Bible says to do. The Word has practical reasons for every command and
principle that we are commanded that we should live by. All youth need to be reminded of
this from time to time as do adults.
Talk to them, not at them. Remember, kids hate lecture and lecture to a kid is anything
more than eight words! One of the most important human needs is the need to be understood.
Let them know and see that you are listening.
Refer. Do not try to do it all. If you are in over your head, admit it. Talk with your
pastor, youth minister or health care professional.
Have a genuine love and acceptance of them as a valuable person and a creation of God.
- He drew a circle to shut me out.
- Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
- But love and I had wit to win.
- We drew a circle that took him in.
Edwin Markham in "Outwitted"
Recommended Resources:
- Reaching Out to Troubled Youth, Dwight Spotts and David Veerman, Victor Books,
1987
- How to Work with Rude, Obnoxious and Apathetic Kids,Les Christie, Victor Books,
1987
- Helping the Struggling Adolescent, Les Parrott III, Zondervan, 1993
- Reclaiming Youth at Risk, Larry Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg, and Steve Van
Brockern, National Education Service, 1990
- Positive Steps Approach, Cindy Phillips, and Levi Williams, The Summit Group,
1993
- Teaching Social Skills to Youth, Tom Dowd, M.A. and Jeff Tierney, M. Ed., Boy's
Town Press, 1992
- TEXAS BAPTIST HOME HELP LINE 1-800-937-6211
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